Katesssy

I’m scared for the day we stop liking each other. 

I’m scared that I will run out of time to tell you how I feel.  

I’m scared to know what will happen when you leave.  

But I realize these are feelings people develop when a person truly begins to like another person. The mere existence of a human being is so strong and powerful; I have never been so aware of another person, or their touch or their words before. I feel so weak sometimes. I find myself crying because I am so happy, but for the first time in my life, I feel complete. For the first time in my life, I have found a person I instantly liked and did not have to force myself to talk to them. Before I met my boyfriend, I never thought I would meet a guy and fall for him. Finding myself drooling over someone when I barely knew them and then going on a date with them a week later. Not only that, but going on continuous dates after and then spending nights at their house—entire weekends. No. To be honest, I never thought I would be here. This is a guy who loves the same music as me; would care less if our day consisted of lying in bed from sunrise to sundown. I have never been so happy in another person’s presence. But also, yes. Yes I do realize these are foreign feelings to me that make me excited and happy, and maybe a bit over dramatic when I say, “aren’t I the luckiest girl alive?”. Except, before my 19th birthday, I thought I would never like a person till the day I died. A year ago, I thought I wouldn’t have my first kiss until I was drunk enough not to remember it. For the longest time I have been trying to find someone to explain these feelings to me, a song that speaks to me, a picture that shows a 1000 words to describe my emotions. But instead, I found nothing. It’s not until now that I realize how I feel. I truly like this guy and I don’t care about where we may be a year from now; I care about where I am with him right now. And everything he has shown me. When I see him next, I promise to myself I will make sure he knows what he means to me before it is too late. 

Sigur Rós makes me feel sophisticated. 

Sometimes you cannot believe what you see, you have to believe what you feel. And if you are ever going to have other people trust you, you must feel that you can trust them, too—even when youre in the dark. Even when youre falling.